Beyond Blame

"People will blame you if you say too much; they will blame you if you say too little; they will blame you if you say just enough. No one in this world escapes blame.

There never was and never will be anyone who receives all praise or all blame.

But who can blame those who are pure, wise, good and meditative?

They shine like a coin of pure gold..."

The Buddha

It has been said by many wise, spiritual rascals that, living our lives trying to gain the approval and praise of others is a one-way ticket to hell. Have you noticed? We may succeed for awhile, but eventually, those who approve of us will eventually find some fault with us, and will blame us for the faults they see in themselves. Even the most loving, clear and kind people are subject to this truth. The fact is; no matter how hard we try to please others, we will never be able to do so for very long; they will eventually end up judging us harshly for some belief they have about us in their own mind.

Trying to gain the approval of others, we can find ourselves walking a tightrope of worry and self-loathing where we are unable to relax and just be as we are. No matter how hard we try to avoid the blame and judgement of others, we all know that eventually, it comes home to us all. We can find ourselves the subject of malicious gossip or shunned by friends for something that we didn't even do. As the Buddha so rightly pointed out, all of us at one time or another will find ourselves the object of blame during this lifetime, just as we will find ourselves the object of praise. If our happiness depends on the praise and approval of others, we can just notice that we are constantly uptight and unhappy; and never really able to relax and settle into the ease and joy of our own genuine, authentic Being, here and now.

As the Buddha, and all spiritual heavy-weights have noted; there is a space beyond praise and blame, a space where our true, shining nature is always free and unbound by the longing for acceptance from others. In this space we are; pure, wise and good - always. The way to access this space, and live from it, is through meditation; by diving deeply into the still and joyful depth of our true, unshakeable nature, which is beyond praise and blame. By practicing even a few minutes of mindful breathing everyday, we begin to relax into this ocean of inner-freedom, where praise and blame are seen as passing clouds in the sky of our true nature.